Season 2, episode 29: “My Fair Larry”

So this is the second episode I messed up. After this we'll be back on track with the actual airing order. Not that any of it matters, as the show's airing order was completely nonsensical. But I'm disappointed in myself, because I like to think I'm better than the Disney Channel, you know? Lizzie and …

Season 2, episode 28: “Great Old Grandma”

Well, shoot. I've had a ton of trouble writing the reviews the past couple of weeks because of computer problems, and in my rush to keep getting them out I apparently straight-up skipped a few episodes. Now the reviews are all out of order. I know my readers generally hold me to a higher standard than this, …

Season 2, episode 31: “My Dinner with Mr. Dig”

This one surprised me. I thought for sure it was written by a guest writer, because it was one of those episodes where every line, character choice and plot point felt slightly off. But I was wrong - it was written by Melissa Gould, who wrote 15 episodes for the series. The unsettling quality kicks in immediately. Lizzie, …

Season 2, episode 30: “The Gordo Shuffle”

Hello. How's everyone doing? Not great? Well, let's channel our anger constructively, with rants about what an asshole Gordo is and how MIRANDA IS GONE AGAIN. This one's called "The Gordo Shuffle," and I don't know why. It starts with another one of the show's lazy, nonsensical jokes about how dumb Ethan is. This week, he …

Season 2, episode 27: “The Greatest Crush of All”

I had a fun Halloween! I dressed as Lizzie McGuire and had a better Halloween than the real Lizzie McGuire. And Davida Williams, a.k.a. Claire herself, followed Lizzie McGuire Reviewed on Twitter! So things have been looking up for me lately, except for how I had to watch this episode. The chimpanzee from "Mom's Best …

Season 2, episode 26: “Grubby Longjohn’s Olde Tyme Revue”

The official episode title, according to imdb, is "Grubby Longjohn's Olde Tyme Revue," which makes it sound like a whimsical Western episode about an old-fashioned show. In Disney's online player, it's just "Grubby Longjohn's," which makes it sound like a gross episode about dirty underwear. It is, in fact, a corny episode about family bonding. …

Season 2, episode 25: “A Gordo Story”

This one gets a dubious honor. Of all the episodes where Gordo throws a tantrum, it bothers me the least. Gordo, Lizzie, Ethan, and Miranda play basketball in a very, very small PE class. Ethan easily blocks what should be Gordo's buzzer-beating basket and Lizzie and Miranda gush about him when he leaves. Gordo is dejected. …

Season 2, episode 24: “Bunkies”

What's Lizzie to do now that she's about to graduate middle school and has made a move on her best friend? Who knows! We've got eleven episodes to slog through now, and they have no significance to the overarching narrative at all. Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda are in the courtyard, AND YES I SAID MIRANDA! MIRANDA IS …

Season 2, episode 23: “Bye, Bye Hillridge Junior High”

I don't know why I'm surprised to see the finale air twelve episodes early, considering the pilot aired four episodes late. But I was bummed to find this out when I first started looking over the airing order and thought it would be annoying to end the project on a relatively low note, with a random …

Season 2, episode 22: “Clue-Less”

We're blitzing towards the finale, episode order be damned, and there is only one thing that matters at this point: get! Lizzie! and Gordo! Together! Miranda is gone! Maybe she's dead for all we know! School doesn't matter! Plot points don't matter! Gordo likes Lizzie and that's what this show is all about now! For …