Oh hey, we're done here. Thanks to everyone for reading, commenting, and sharing the blog with your friends. If you got a lot of joy from it, maybe consider donating $5 here. Special thanks to my amazing editor Jerrika, who rocks and shouldn't EVER change. This blog will live at this address for a while, … Continue reading It has been reviewed.
Hey now! Are you ready for the craziest possible resolution to this bananas plot? Paolo takes Lizzie to a rehearsal hall so he can teach her to lip-sync. She's crazy bad at it, even though we saw her lip-syncing wonderfully in the first scene of the movie. Was that scene just there to foreshadow that Lizzie … Continue reading “The Lizzie McGuire Movie” Reviewed (Part 3)
Do you think they even considered other titles for the movie? Like Lizzie McGuire Goes to Rome or Lizzie McGuire's Italian Adventure or literally anything with even a little bit more imagination or creativity? Apparently the Italian release of this was called Lizzie Superstar, which is a fittingly absurd title for this absurd movie. I would have called it Hilary … Continue reading “The Lizzie McGuire Movie” Reviewed (Part 2)
Look at the poster for this movie: This is a poster that says "You like this girl! Who cares what the plot of this movie is!" And the answer is: no one who worked on it. The Lizzie McGuire Movie pretty blatantly exists to make tweens fork over their cash and get more invested in Hilary … Continue reading “The Lizzie McGuire Movie” Reviewed (Part 1)
I don't know that these opinions are going to be extremely popular. Other sites have attempted to make (trash) lists of their favorite episodes or even a (respectable) ranking of all of them, but those writers aren't coming from a place of intense exasperation with and hatred for the show. Think of this as the curmudgeon's guide to Lizzie McGuire. The … Continue reading The 10 Best and Worst Episodes of “Lizzie McGuire”
Boy, do people fucking love Lizzie McGuire. I knew that going into it, of course. One of the reasons I started this project was the overwhelming sense of "is everyone else in the world on drugs?" that hit me every time I had to see another listicle about how amazing this show was. But working on this … Continue reading “Lizzie McGuire” reviewed.
The "second" season of Lizzie McGuire is an odd beast, because Disney essentially treated it as two separate seasons. Season 1 aired from January '01 to January '02, but the episodes shot as "season 2" aired from February '02 to February '04. Its "finale" aired smack in the middle, in February '03, a few months ahead … Continue reading Season 2 reviewed.
Oh snap, y'all! We made it! It's the actual, non-finale final episode! Like the Disney Channel's airing order and life itself, this milestone is pretty meaningless. But we're here, and we reached it together. Lizzie and Miranda hang out in Lizzie's room playing with makeup and reading beauty tips in magazines. It's extremely adorable, and exactly … Continue reading Season 2, episode 34: “Magic Train”
By a weird coincidence, we get the Christmas episode at just the right time! That hasn't happened with any other holiday episodes, so I'm pretty delighted about this. I'm not particularly delighted about reviewing this episode, though. Sometimes the writing credits are really confusing to parse, especially in the second season. I can't figure out who … Continue reading Season 2, episode 33: “Xtreme Xmas”
Boy howdy does none of my episode numbering make any sense anymore. Oops. This is supposed to be one of the more feminist episodes of Lizzie McGuire, according to Lizzie writer/story editor Nina Bargiel. Let's get into THAT! Lizzie's P.E. class has to participate in the Presidential Fitness Challenge, which seems to only consist of the flexed … Continue reading Season 2, episode 32: “Just One of the Guys”